The Queen's Angel
by TouchedbyaMunster
Summary: Featuring characters from Once Upon A Time, Touched by an Angel, Even Stevens, and the classic Batman TV series. A tribute to my favorite TV actresses Lana Parrilla, Roma Downey, Christy Carlson Romano, and Julie Newmar. Regina goes to Boston for a social worker visit in Boston in 2004, but encounters more than she bargained for.
1. Chapter 1

One day in 2004 Storybrooke…

Regina had just finished putting little Henry to bed. She was happy to be a mother now.

Suddenly, the phone rang.

"Hello?" Regina asked, "Whom may I ask is calling?"

"Ms. Mills," an unfamiliar voice on the other end said. "We've had a great deal of trouble trying to contact you. In your agreement to adopt your son, Henry, it is mandatory for a bi-annual social worker checkup. You have yet to meet with any state representative."

"I-I know," Regina stammered, "it's just that juggling being mayor on top of being a mother to Henry, it slipped my mind."

"Ms. Mills if you don't meet with someone in the next thirty days, the state may have to take Henry out of your hands." the caller said.

"No!" Regina shouted, "I can assure you, Henry is getting the best of care from me."

"I'd like to believe that, ma'am, but I'm afraid protocol requires for a social worker visit." the caller said, "when is good time for you?"

"How about tomorrow?" Regina asked. "At 4:00."

"Tomorrow at four, you got it," the caller said, "we'll send someone over to your town, tomorrow. They'll be calling you shortly."

"No!" Regina shouted, "I mean, Storybrooke's pretty hectic this time of year. Besides, traffic on the interstate is a pain!"

"Ms. Mills, if you can't allow the social worker to come into your town, I'm afraid we can't meet." The caller said.

"Well, how about if I meet them in Boston?" Regina asked, "I'll bring photos and videos of Henry in Storybrooke as proof that he is under the best of care here."

"I can tell you really care about him," the caller said, "Tell you what, we'll meet you in Boston. If we're still not convinced, someone will have to come over to your home."

"Great!" Regina said, "See you at 3:00!"

The next day, in Boston…

At the adoption agency…

"Hello Ms. Mills," a young woman said, shaking her hand, "I'm Ren Stevens. I'm a college intern here. I'm going to Boston University."

"I'm sorry," Regina said with confusion, "Are you the social worker?"

"No," Ren said, "I'll bring her in."

A middle-aged redheaded woman came in.

"Hello Ms. Mills," she said, with a thick Irish accent, "My name is Monica. I'll be handling your case with wee Henry.

"A pleasure to meet you, Monica," Regina said, "you too, Ms. Stevens."

"If you wouldn't mind, I could take care of Henry while you're meeting," Ren said.

"No," Regina said, "That won't be necessary. He's my son."

"I realize that, ma'am," Ren said, "but there's a certain part of the screening the child should not be present for."

"Alright," Regina said, "here's his favorite stuffed animal, and a book you can read him."

Regina and little toddler Henry went in the meeting room with Monica.

"So," Monica said, "I'm told that due to these unusual circumstances you've provided photographs and videos of Henry's life so far in Storybrooke."

"Correct," Regina said, "you love it there, don't you, Henry?"

"Yes, Mommy," Henry said, as Regina smiled.

"Please refrain from speaking to your child for the time being, Ms. Mills," Monica said.

"So I'm not supposed to talk to my own son now, is that it?" Regina asked.

"You misunderstand," Monica clarified, "since this is an evaluation, I'd like to ask the questions to get the most honest answers from Henry, as well as you."

"Ok," Regina said, "fire away!"

"Would you step out of the room for a moment, Ms. Mills?" Monica asked.

"Fine." Regina said smugly.

Regina joined Ren in the hallway.

"Am in twouble?" Henry asked.

"No sweetie," Monica giggled, "I just need to ask you a few questions. It won't take long."

"What kind of questions?" Henry asked.

"About life with your Mommy," Monica said, "Henry, has your Mommy ever hit you?"

"Never," Henry said, "Mommy loves me."

"Has she ever left you alone for an extended period of time?" Monica asked.

"No," Henry said, "she takes me to her office. And I get to play."

"Has she ever left you without food?" Monica asked.

"Nope," Henry said, "she makes a mean lasagna, plus her apple pies are the best!"

"Do you like your life in Storybrooke?" Monica asked.

"Yeah," Henry said, "Everybody's nice to us."

"Ok, Henry, we're done," Monica said, "you can go now. I need to talk to your Mommy."

"I wonder what they're talking about in there," Ren said.

"Probably brainwashing my son!" Regina snapped.

"Probably not for us to know." Ren said.

Monica and Henry walked out.

"Ok, I need to speak with you, Ms. Mills." Monica said.

"Please," Regina said, with a smile, "call me Regina."

"Alright Henry," Monica said, "you're going to stay with Ms. Stevens while I speak with Mom."

"Hey Henry," Ren said, "How are you?"

Suddenly, an older, quite statuesque woman came in. She was dressed in black with a leopard-skin scarf.

"Hello," Ren said, "I'm Ren Stevens. May I help you, ma'am?"

"You certainly can," she said, "My name is Selina Kyle, and I have no idea how I got here. I was on my way to get some fresh gardening supplies and food for my cats, when suddenly, I felt I got swallowed up by the earth and ended up here. Where am I?"

"Boston, Massachusetts, Ms. Kyle," Ren said, "Do you need me to call a cab or something?"

"No," Selina said, "I need to get back to Gotham."

"Gotham?" Ren asked, "as in Gotham City?"

"That's right," Selina said.

"I'm afraid I can't help you, Ms. Kyle," Ren said, "Would you mind waiting here for a minute?"

Ren went over to the phone.

"And who might this bundle of joy be?" Selina asked Henry as she sat down.

"My Mommy told me never to talk to strangers," Henry said.

"How purr-fectly responsible of her!" Selina said.

Selina got up to talk to Ren.

"Excuse me, Ms. Stevens," Selina said, "Purr-haps you can help me, you see I need to make a phone call to a friend, and—"

"I'm sorry, Ms. Kyle, but I can't get through to public relations," Ren said, "looks like you'll be stuck here for a while."

"Maybe not," Selina said, "Tell me, do have any cats?"

"Well," Ren said, "I may be single, but I'm not that lonely, no offense."

"None taken," Selina said, as they walked down the hall away from Henry.

"Do you know where they keep any secret information in this building?" Selina asked.

"Ma'am, I'm just an intern, and besides even if I did know anything, I couldn't tell you." Ren said. "But if you want I could ask the director, for you."

"Purr-fect!" Selina cooed.

Meanwhile, Monica and Regina were finishing up their meeting.

"Well, Ms. Mills," Monica said, "I think from the footage and photos you've shown me, plus the responses I received from Henry and the detailed outline of your progress with your son, I can see you are a dedicated mother."

"Thank you, Monica," Regina said.

"I realize life can be difficult, being in a high position of power as well as a single mother," Monica said, "if I were you, I wouldn't let anything else get in the way."

"Trust me," Regina said, "I can handle whatever God throws at me."

"Well, sometimes God throws things our way that we don't exactly expect." Monica said.

Suddenly, they find Henry on the couch and Ren lying on the ground, unconscious.

"Ren!" Monica said, "call 9-1-1!"

"Henry, are you ok?" Regina asked, "what happened?"

"I don't know," Henry said, "some old lady came in and talked with Miss Stevens, and then they walked off."

"Who was the lady?" Monica asked.

"Her name was Ms. Kyle," Henry said, "Selina Kyle."

"Do you know where she went?" Regina asked.

"Nope," Henry said.

Selina was raiding the archives and walked off with a folder.

"Purr-fect!" she said, "Step one, complete!"


	2. Chapter 2

Ren woke up in the hospital.

"Monica?" she asked groggily, "What happened?"

"You were knocked unconscious," Monica said, "Do you remember what happened?"

"No," Ren said, "All I remember was…that woman."

"Yes, Selina Kyle." Monica said, "she escaped."

"I'm sorry to interrupt," Regina said, "but our business here is settled. Could we please be permitted to leave now? We don't have a stake in this."

"I'm sorry, Regina," Monica said, "but I'm afraid you do. Your son was a witness to this woman who came in here, and with our combined efforts, we may be able to track her down."

"If only I had the town Sheriff here with us," Regina said, "he's an expert tracker."

"Well," Monica said, "I was scanning our inventory and it appears a file has been stolen."

"What's so important about a file?" Regina asked.

"This file contained valuable information about the child of a wealthy family, whose family was killed in a plane crash last month. Since then, they've been moving this child from place to place and keeping the file in secure lockdown. Now that Ms. Kyle has it, she could sell it to the highest bidder and become a very rich woman." Monica said.

"You want me to help take her down?" Regina asked.

"Yes," Monica said.

"What do I get out it?" Regina asked.

"The satisfaction that you've done a good deed," Monica said, "showing your wee boy that you don't have to run away from a situation, but you can be a part of something and be a hero in his eyes."

"I'd like that," Regina said, "Alright, I'm in."

Meanwhile, Selina Kyle got in her car with the stolen file.

She dialed a number on her cell phone.

"I've got the file," Selina said, "Trust me, she doesn't remember anything."

FLASHBACK:

Gotham City, late 1960's…

The Catwoman and her three henchmen, Mittens, Whiskers, and Scootsie, went into the Gotham Science museum.

"Alright boys," Catwoman smirked, "once we complete this caper, our plans will be complete. From here on in, we'll be rich! Pussywillows galore!"

"What are we stealin' Catwoman?" asked her henchman, Fluffy.

"Do I have to go over everything again?" Catwoman said, as she rolled her eyes, "We're stealing the Cat's Eye cradle, a machine capable of transmitting images from another world, even allowing the ability to break barriers and cross over. If the Dynamic Duo is on to us, we'll lay low in another dimension, or send them there!"

The henchmen nodded with understanding.

"Whiskers, grab the cradle!" the Princess of Plunder commanded.

"Right, Catwoman!" Whiskers responded.

"Boss, the Caped Crusaders are on their way!" a nervous looking Scootsie said, as he ran in. "I just saw the Batmobile pull up, and now they're climbin' up the side 'a the buildin' with their batrope!"

"Drat!" Catwoman snapped, "Looks like we may have to cut this caper short! Whiskers, do you have it?"

"Right here, Catwoman!" Whiskers confirmed, "Smooth as cream! With the security system deactivated, it was a cinch."

"Purr-fect!" Catwoman said, "Let's get going, men!"

"Oh no!" Mittens shouted, "The Dynamic Duo are almost here!"

A nervous Whiskers accidently dropped the stolen machine.

"Butterpaws!" Catwoman shouted, "You dropped the Cat's Eye Cradle, you moron!"

"Look!" Mittens shouted, "The thing's glowin' green!"

"Double-drat!" Catwoman said.

Suddenly, a portal opened up and Catwoman and her henchmen were sucked into it.

Upon awaking, the Queen of Criminals and her henchmen found themselves in a regal palace of some sort. The environment was unknown to them, but it appeared to be surrounded by vast wilderness.

"Well fellas," Catwoman said, "Looks like we're not in Gotham City anymore! Oh well, at least we got away from the masked meddlers!"

"Halt!" shouted a guard, "By order of Her Majesty, the Queen!"

"I'm the only Queen around here!" Catwoman shouted, "The Queen of Criminals!"

"Uh-oh!" Scootsie exclaimed, "now we're in for it!"

"Don't just stand there with your tails between your legs," Catwoman said, "get 'em, guys!"

**POW!**

Mittens punched a guard.

**CLANG!**

Another guard swung his sword at Whiskers.

**SHANK!**

Another guard impaled Scootsie.

**BOFF!**

Whiskers ran up and grabbed the murderous guard from behind and started to strangle him.

Catwoman started to run away.

"Leaving so soon?" an eerie female voice called.

"Who's there?" Catwoman asked nervously.

"I shouldn't have to introduce myself," a woman said, appearing out of nowhere, as if by magic, "surely you know who I am."

"Haven't met you before in my life, sister!" Catwoman said. "And the name's Catwoman, not Shirley!"

"Watch your tongue!" the woman yelled, "My name is Regina and I am your Queen! You will speak to me with the proper respect I deserve!"

"You're not my Queen," Catwoman snapped, "I am the Queen of Criminals, the Princess of Plunder!"

"A common thief?" Regina asked.

"I'm a spectacular thief!" Catwoman said, "Catwoman is top dog around here, and don't you forget it!"

"You need to learn your place, tabby!" Regina said, as she flung the Feline Felon up against the wall, "Here, I am Queen. You may have been important, from wherever you came from, but here I rule this land! No thief steals from the Queen and gets away with it!"

"I didn't steal anything…from you." Catwoman said.

"Really?" Regina asked, "Then what were you doing in my palace?"

"We were…transported here, accidentally, by something I stole from my world." Catwoman said.

"Interesting," Regina said, "can this item send you back where you came from?"

"I don't know," Catwoman said, "if you release me, I can find out!"

Regina let her down.

"Do you have a name?" Regina asked, "or should I just call you, Catwoman?"

"Kitana Irena Tatayna Karinska Alisov, also known as Kitka," Catwoman said, "but I prefer if you'd address me by my criminal moniker, Catwoman."

"Very well," Regina said, "Guards! Show Catwoman to her chambers!"

Regina's knights came in and grabbed the Catwoman.

"C'mon kitty," one of the guards said, "you need to learn your place. A couple nights in the dungeon never hurt anyone!"

"I don't do dungeons!" Catwoman said, as she threw one of the guards on top of another one. The other guards came in.

Catwoman pull out her cat-o-nine-tails,

**KRRRACK!**

She whipped the guards.

"Nice outfit," one of the guards said, as he hand his sword at her throat, "those heels make it tough to walk?"

"I don't know…" Catwoman said, as she kicked him in the shin, "Do they?"

She took out another guard, and bent down to his level on the ground.

"S'matter?" she asked mocking, "Cat got your tongue?"

She meowed.

"Put some pressure on that, sweetie," she teased, to a guard she kicked in the groin.

She walked off.

"Very impressive," Regina said, "however futile."

She pinned Catwoman to the wall again, and magically bound her with her own whip.

"No one has ever bested my guards like you have," Regina said, "I'd like to offer you a place in my court."

"Sorry Queenie, but I'm anti-social!" Catwoman said.

"You and I are surprisingly alike, Catwoman," Regina said, "we both seemed to have a thirst for the finer things in life, and won't let anyone stand in our way."

"What can I say," Catwoman said, "I'm a girl with ambition."

"Yes you are," Regina said, "I could use you. My enemy, Snow White, prowls around in the forest. Who better than someone with catlike reflexes, such as yourself, to track her down?"

"Wait, Snow White?" Catwoman asked.

"Yes, the fairest in the land, according to some." Regina said. "You've heard of her?"

"It's just that, where I come from, Snow White is a myth," Catwoman said.

"Myth or not, in this land, she's unfortunately quite real," Regina said, "but soon, she's about to become ancient history. Shall we discuss this in more detail?"

"I'm intrigued," Catwoman said, "I'd love to learn more, your majesty."

Meanwhile, in 2004, in Boston…

"How do we track her?" Regina asked.

"The surveillance cameras should tell us everything we need to know," Monica said.

"The problem is," Ren said, "She disconnected the surveillance after she knocked me out."

"So now what?" Regina asked.

"Now," Monica said, "we wait for a miracle."

"We don't have time for miracles!" Regina snapped, "I have to get back to Storybrooke with my son! I have responsibilities."

"There's always time for a miracle, Regina." Monica said, "sometimes they come when you least expect them. And you're right, you do have responsibilities, to your son, to your citizens, but right now your responsibility is to help us locate this woman and what's she stolen."

"I still don't see what this has to do with me." Regina said.

"I have a feeling you will, soon." Monica said.

Meanwhile…

Selina Kyle was lurking outside of the building.

"This is Comrade Kitka," she said, talking to her employer on the phone, "the drug I used on Ms. Stevens should be taking effect momentarily, then she'll be in my, er, our power."

Back inside the building, Monica and Regina talk.

"Ren, why don't you stay here and watch Henry?" Monica suggested, "Regina and I are going to look for clues as to where Ms. Kyle could have gone."

"We'll be back soon, sweetie!" Regina said, "I love you!"

"Love you too, Mommy!" Henry said.

"So Henry," Ren said, "What—"

Suddenly, Ren felt light-headed and woozy. Her thoughts were becoming blurred. Suddenly, a new personality came over her.

"Henry," Ren said, "Why don't we play a game? But we have to go outside."

"Outside?" Henry asked, "But Mommy and Monica said to wait here."

"What they don't know won't hurt them." Ren said.

Meanwhile, Regina and Monica were down in the basement.

"What do expect to find down here, Monica?" Regina asked.

"I don't know," Monica said, "Phone records, fingerprints, anything that could lead us to the thief. Why don't we check the archive section?"

They went into a small room labeled "ARCHIVES".

Suddenly, the door locked automatically.

"We're trapped!" Regina shouted.

"Good evening Monica and Regina!" a sensuous voice purred.

"Good evening Ms. Kyle," Monica, "I don't know where you are communicating from, but it seems you've been expecting us."

"Right you are," Selina said, from her car, "I have a wonderful night planned for you, and it starts right now."

Suddenly, they dropped through a trap door.

"I had no idea there was an even lower level to this building," Monica said.

"Few people do," Selina said, "Fewer still leave this room alive. You are in the deepest inner-catacombs of this building. This is the last room you'll ever occupy."

"Don't count us out just yet!" Monica said, "with God all things are possible!"

"I've heard that voice somewhere before…" Regina thought aloud.

"You should remember it…your majesty." Selina said.

"Catwoman?" Regina asked, bemused, "You feline devil!"

"Is that any way to address an old friend, your highness?" Selina jeered, "Not even a 'hello' or 'how have you been?"

"I swear to you, Selina," Regina said, "when get out of here, I will find you and skin you alive! I will destroy you if it is the last thing I do! You have no idea who you're dealing with!"

"Vengeance will blacken your soul, Regina," Monica warned, "it'll leave a void in your heart."

"My heart's already dark enough." Regina said.

"Too bad you don't have your magic, Regina," Selina said, "how does it feel to be the quarry for a change, hmm?"

"Trust me, I won't need magic to take care of you!" Regina snapped.

"Well, you'll have to take care of your son, too!" Selina said.

"What are you talking about?" Regina asked. "If he's hurt—"

"He's fine, for now." Selina said, "he's just taking a bit of a cat-nap. When I knocked out Ms. Stevens, I injected her with a drug known as cataphrenic. This purr-ticular formula has a delayed reaction. It changes a person's normal moral and ethical standards, causing the person to become the exact opposite of their former selves."

"That's impossible!" Monica said, "everyone has a conscience!"

"Even I know that," Regina said, "although I don't listen to mine as much."

"Ms. Stevens can't resist," Selina said, "your little boy will be fine, you two, however might not be. But I'm a fair woman, and I'm going to give you a sporting chance."

A panel unveils two doors.

"You see two doors in front of you," Selina said, "behind door #1 is Henry. Behind door #2 is a ferocious man-eating tiger! Choose wisely."

"Regina, think this through," Monica said.

"We ain't got time for this!" Regina said, as she hastily pressed a button, unleashing the tiger!

**WILL REGINA EVER SEE HER SON ALIVE AGAIN?**

**WILL HENRY EVER SEE HIS MOM ALIVE AGAIN?**

**WILL REN COME OUT OF THE INFLUENCE OF CATAPHRENIC BEFORE ITS TOO LATE?**

**WILL THIS DISTAFF DUO ESCAPE THE CLAWS OF THE FORMER CATWOMAN?**

**WHO IS SELINA WORKING FOR? **

**THE ANSWER TO THESE AND OTHER TERRIFYING QUESTIONS TOMORROW—**

**SAME CAT-STORY! **

**SAME CAT-WEBSITE!**


	3. Chapter 3

**WHEN LAST WE LEFT OUR DISTAFF DUO, SELINA KYLE HAD KIDNAPPED HENRY WITH THE AID OF A DRUG-INDUCED REN, AND PLACED REGINA AND MONICA IN A TIGER CAGE! CLOSE YOUR EYES, UNLESS YOU CARE TO SEE THEM MAULED TO BITS! KEEP READING!**

The tiger growled furiously.

Monica shut the tiger's mouth and sent him back.

"Did you really think we would get mauled to bits?" Monica asked.

"The thought hadn't even entered my mind," Regina said. "I didn't know you trained tigers."

"I don't," Monica said, "this was a miracle. From God. This is part of the reason He sent me to you."

Monica started to glow.

"What's happening?" Regina asked.

"Be not afraid, your majesty," Monica said, "I am an angel sent from the Most High God, to tell you that He loves you."

"An angel?" Regina said, "I think…I remember you."

"We have met before." Monica said.

FLASHBACK…

Regina talked to Catwoman.

"You've certainly had quite the run around with this Dynamic Duo," Regina said, "Still, Snow White has yet to get the upper hand over me. If you help me kill her, I will open you up to powers you couldn't even begin to imagine, than you can kill Batman, or force him to join you in crime and love you."

"What a purr-fectly lovely idea," Catwoman said, "When can we start?"

"Servant!" Regina called, "Fetch me some more wine!"

"I'm afraid we don't have any more wine, your majesty," the servant said in an Irish brogue.

It was Monica.

"Then get some water!" Regina said, "I'll use my magic on it!"

"I'm afraid only one person could turn water into wine, your majesty," Monica said, "and it's not you."

"Speak to me like that again, and I'll rip your heart out." Regina said.

"I apologize, your majesty," Monica said, "I do have milk though."

"Milk's fine," Catwoman said, "pour it in this dish."

Monica poured the milk, and Catwoman proceeded to lap it up with her tongue.

"Well then," Regina said, "Shall we continue plotting Snow White's demise?"

"Revenge will get you nowhere, your majesty." Monica said.

"Leave now," Regina said, "while I'm still in good mood."

Monica walked out.

IN 2004…

"That was you!" Regina said, "you were the servant!"

"Yes," Monica said, "I may have been posing as your servant then, but I was really, always have been, and always will be, a servant to Almighty God. God loves you, Regina. He knows the pain you've experienced, but He is saddened by the way you've caused so much misery and destruction to ease the pain. You've had a hole in your heart for a long time and nothing, not revenge, not a curse, not even a son, will fill that void. Only God can fill it."

"I don't need God!" Regina snapped, "I have everything I want!"

"Do you?" Monica asked. "Where's Henry now? The citizens of Storybrooke don't know who they really are; they're just puppets, doing whatever you tell them. You've ripped out so many hearts, Regina, but God wants your heart, not to manipulate you, but to love and to guide your life. In His presence, there is fullness and peace."

"Save it!" Regina said, "I don't need God's help! I can do things on my own!"

"Maybe when you had magic," Monica said, "but now you're powerless and vulnerable. You've been manipulated by your heartless mother your whole life, and clung to the very thing you hated, magic. You've turned to magic instead of God. You've had a thirst for revenge. "Vengeance is mine" says the Lord. It's not for you to take. God has the power to restore what's been broken in your life, Regina, but you have to turn it over to Him in complete surrender."

"Just leave me be!" Regina said, "I'm getting my son back and going home!"

"Whatever suits you," Monica said, "but we're not finished yet."

Suddenly, Regina found herself outside of the building, alone.

"Monica?" she asked.

"Well, well, look what the cat dragged in," Selina said, as she sat atop a chair in a cat-themed vehicle.

"Selina," Regina said, "give me back my son!"

"Sure thing, after you best my champion." Selina said, "Ren, vanquish the Evil Queen!"

Ren Stevens got in a catfight with Regina Mills.

"Sorry, Regina" Ren mocked, "you can't defeat me. I can do anything!"

"Well, you don't know who you're dealing with, honey!" Regina said.

Ren pinned Regina to a wall.

"Did I neglect to mention that cataphrenic increases the subject's endurance and strength?" Selina asked, "Guess you're finding it out, the hard way! By the way, where's your friend?"

"She left." Regina said.

"Aw, too bad." Selina said with faux sympathy. "Looks like she'll miss the show!"

"What show?" Regina asked.

"The one where the cat kills the Queen." Selina purred.

"What do you want with me?" Regina asked.

"I want you to know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of betrayal." Selina said.

"What are you talking about?" Regina asked, "you were never my friend!"

"Ah, but we were partners," Selina said, "I'm sure your little boy would love to hear the story of how his Mommy caused me so much misery."

"Please don't," Regina said, "I'll do anything."

"That's better," Selina said, "Ren, release her. Go tend to little Henry. See that he's taken care of, take him to the catacombs. Regina and I need to have a chat."

FLASHBACK…

"So, if I can lure Snow White into a cat-trap, and have her disposed of, you'll teach me magic, right?" Catwoman asked.

"Better than that," Regina said, "if you kill Snow White for me, you can have your pick of any treasure in my kingdom."

"Sounds like an offer I can't refuse." Catwoman said slyly. "So if I understand you correctly, you'll let me have access to anything I want and I can leave and go back to Gotham?"

"That's right," Regina said, "Only if you kill Snow White."

"That shouldn't be difficult," Catwoman said, "she's just a girl, after all."

"Do not underestimate her," Regina said, "looks can be deceiving."

"Boy do I know that," Catwoman laughed to herself, "Tell me, your majesty, are you not the most powerful purr-son in the land?"

"Quite true!" Regina said.

"And if someone were to usurp you of your power, what would you do?" Catwoman asked.

"Why, I'd simple eradicate them," Regina said, "Don't go getting any ideas, dear. You have no idea what I'm capable of."

"And you seem to underestimate what I am capable of," Catwoman said, "you see, as a master cat-burglar, I've gotten my claws on items I can use against my enemies, such as cataphrenic, silentmite, and the voice eraser, all of which have helped me in my capers. If were to use one such weapon on you—"

"Don't even think about it!" Regina said.

"you didn't let me finish," Catwoman continued, "it would likely have no effect. However, were I to use my weapons on Snow White, that'd be another story. Imagine if Snow White couldn't speak, or if I turned her good heart black as coal with the help of a personality-altering drug, or if she was caught in an explosion because she couldn't hear it coming. You need my help, your majesty."

"No, actually I don't," Regina said.

"Excuse me?" Catwoman asked.

"You see, dear," Regina said, "Despite what services you may or may not have to offer, Snow White's death is my prize. I don't need some two-bit cat-burglar to do her in. I will have my vengeance! I never needed your help! I just wanted to see what you could offer me, and I am not impressed. There's more than one way to skin a cat."

"So now what?" Catwoman asked, "all the riches you promised me, I get nothing?"

"No, you get something," Regina said, "it's time to put the cat out for the night!"

Regina made the Cat's Eye Cradle appear and used it to send Catwoman back.

In 2004…

"You ruined my chance for the crime of the century, Regina," Selina said, "besides my one chance at happiness with Batman by my side as my partner in crime!"

"I didn't do anything!" Regina said.

"You could at least have given me a chance to kill your enemy," Selina said, "I could have done it."

"Oh please," Regina said, "you couldn't kill a couple of costumed men dressed as flying rats."

"Don't underestimate Batman, either," Selina said, "even without shark repellent, he's tougher than he seems. Besides, you've never faced him."

"Well, you've never faced Snow White, either," Regina said, "but don't worry. Even though she's still alive, I've subjected her to a fate worse than death."

"Well, it appears you've gotten what you wanted," Selina said, "But you still have to pay! Ren!"

Ren was groggy.

"Where is she?" Selina asked, as she got up, "Ren!"

"What's going on?" Ren asked.

"Triple drat!" Selina shouted, "looks like the cataphrenic wore off! Well, if you want something done right…"

"Give me back my son!" Regina commanded.

"You're in no position to make demands, your highness." Selina said.

"It's ok," Monica said, "Henry is safe!"

Monica helped Henry and Ren. Regina hugged her son.

"Looks like you'll have to report back to your boss, now." Monica said, "I believe this is the part where you say your villainous plot has been foiled."

"Who said I was working for anyone?" Selina asked. "I'd love to talk more, ladies, but I'm off to bigger and better things . Farewell my lovelies!"

"I'm sorry," Ren said, "I don't know what came over me!"

"It wasn't your fault, Ren." Monica said.

"So that's it then," Regina said, "it's over, we can go home."

"No," Monica said, "I believe it's just the beginning."

Selina went back to a cat-lair she made up in Boston.

Up in her office…

"My, my," a voice said, from her desk, "love what you've done with the place."

"You?" Selina said, staring at the woman who spun around in the chair. She looked exactly like Monica. "You're Regina's friend! Haven't I seen you somewhere before? And what happened to your accent?"

"I've been around you your whole life, Selina," the woman said, "though you didn't always know it. My name is Monique. The other lookalike, Monica, is a pale facsimile compared to me."

"What do you want?" Selina said.

"To offer you a deal," Monique said, "your youth in exchange for your soul."

"Sounds like an offer I can't refuse," Selina said, "I accept."

"Just sign here," Monique said, as she handed her a pen and unrolled a contract, "on the dotted line."

THE END?


End file.
